Horseshoes & Hand Grenades

In general, luck has nothing to do with it.

Life Lessons I Learned From My Kids

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LifeLessons

 

Becoming a parent changes things…a lot of things. I changes you physically (fortunately bigger boobs somewhat balanced out the stretch marks and sudden need for a tummy tuck in my case) and it changes you mentally and emotionally. Your perspective on just about every part of your life becomes different. No longer are you just concerned about #1 (yourself), you find yourself in situations  you never dreamed you’d be in, making decisions you would previously have never considered, and things spew out of your mouth that you didn’t even know a situation could call for saying. Parenthood, put simply, is freaking craziness so I thought I’d share some of the life lessons I’ve learned from my own children…I have a feeling many of you can relate and for those of you who don’t yet have kids, consider yourself warned.

 

Patience – I have learned that I really don’t have any, but I think I have more than I used too – really it depends on the day — if I ends in “Y” I probably am not going to be very patient that day. I think a lot of people think that becoming a parent means you are automatically granted the gift of patience…not true, you just have to learn to be better at #3 on the list so that you don’t drive yourself and your family completely bonkers all of the time. (Sometimes bonkers is totally acceptable and pretty much expected.)

 

Patience eCard

 

Priorities – Things I used to think were important were not life altering after all.  I don’t care if my eye shadow matches my outfit anymore as long as I don’t have hand or paw prints on my pants by the time I get out the door to work…hell, if I’m wearing eye shadow you better believe there’s an important meeting or something that day and I can almost guarantee it will be a shade from and Urban Decay Naked Palette – that stuff matches everything. Not saying I don’t like looking put together and even pretty, but at the end of the day, if I don’t get to spend an hour in front of the mirror before I leave the house, the world will not end like I used to think it would.

 

Choices – Some Battles Are Not Worth Fighting. You really have to pick your battles as a parent, some of them just aren’t worth it; or at least not at that particular moment. If it’s not a life lesson, a moral or ethical wrong, an action that will harm your child or others, or illegal, it may be better for everyone to just let it go sometimes; otherwise you will be bickering with someone all the time over trivial crap and that’s a stressful way to live. Sometimes you just have to let it go.

 

Materialism – No matter how careful you think you are, chocolate and red juice ALWAYS find their way to the carpet. Just by a good shampooer, a couple rugs, and be ready for it when it happens. If you can afford wood or laminate floors, even better – problem solved. A dog or two never hurt either for quick food pick-ups. While you’re better off not to get it until the kids are in high school, just think how exciting that new carpet will be when you finally do get it installed!! Totally worth it right?

 

Public Speaking – Two year olds have no filter. Remember this when you’re in public and be careful about your conversation and the questions you ask your child. At some point or another, the entire restaurant will know that either you or the child has to poop or has pooped. Just own it and move on.

 

Compromise – Cupcakes and Doritos are an acceptable breakfast food combination on occasion. Really it depends on your level of patience on that particular day. (See #3 but be prepared for #4)

 

cupcake breakfast

 

Scientific Theory – If there is a source of water (tub, toilet, puddle), your child will find it. Usually this happens seconds before they are to get in the car for an important event or on the school bus. Having extra shoes and socks on standby is never a bad idea…sometimes wet feet and pants is just how one gets to spend the day. Hopefully it’s not their brand new tennis shoes that met the newly formed mud puddle from last night’s rain, but chances are it will be. There’s some crazy magnetism between new shoes and mud. Remembering to flush ALWAYS is imperative (I know you’re thinking “isn’t that just a given?”, but for those of you with men and boys in the house, you know that no, unfortunately it’s not.) Personally I believe my toddler’s binky has probably been washed in the toilet more times than I care to know.

 

Mud Puddle

 

Irony – Never say never. You know all of those things your parents used to say and do that you swore you’d never ever do or your kids would never hear coming out of your mouth? Wrong!! I turn in to my mother more and my grandmother more and more every single day. And as much as I hate to admit they may have been right, it’s true. Until you have kids you can’t appreciate the situation that your parents or other parents were in and understand why sometimes they act or sound like crazy fools. After years of thinking my parents were bat shit crazy, I’ve come to realize that crazy is really a coping mechanism and all parents are a little bit crazy (I mean hell, if we weren’t we probably would have these wonderful little minions to begin with right?)

 

That’s all the wisdom I’ve got today, but with a tween and a toddler, I’m sure I’ve left something out or I’ll learn something new tomorrow or the next day. It seems that just when you think there’s nothing else they can possibly do that will surprise you or that you haven’t planned for, they find something that throws you for a loop. Sometimes it’s scary, sometimes frustrating, and sometimes funny, but no matter what, the main thing I’ve learned from my kids, is that I didn’t know what love was until they came along.

 

What’s the craziest things the kids in your life have ever done? What lesson has that taught you? Let me know in the comments below and thanks for reading!

 

 

Comments

  3. LOL, the public speaking part had me laughing so hard. I remember the words my boys used to say when they were little. At the time we embarrassed but once you just take it for what it is, a kid being a kid, its funny. You know I wish we had Google Glass when they were younger, the video’s to share at their wedding’s would have been EPIC!

    Reply

    • I’ve said many times that I wish we had the technology when my son (now 11) was little that we have now…I missed so many photos and videos of him just doing what kids do becuase I didn’t have a smart phone (or even a camera phone) that I’m able to have of my toddler so I totally agree!

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  4. My life is totally different now with kids! And I wouldn’t change it for a second… well maybe when I want to use the bathroom in private… I spent years as a nanny, and knew that having kids would change me, but as it has happened, even I am amazed at the power those little ones have to change adults. And not making a big deal out of everything is huge for me now. Some battles are simply not worth having, period. Who cares what experts say!

    Marissa

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    • Yeah I used to pay attention to the “experts” when my 1st was little, because hell, I didn’t know what I was doing, but now that my 2nd is a toddler, and I’ve learned from experience with my tween, the experts aren’t always right and they can’t speak for what works with every single unique child.

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  5. I have no patience either, and I would like to think I have gotten better but I doubt it! And I used to love wearing a ton of make-up, now I only wear make-up like… never. Great life lessons! All of which I can relate to 🙂

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  6. ha ha public speaking. I could tell you stories. That is so true. Kids change us for the better. It is a different change, but something I do not want to change. I have GROWN a lot with patience. You sorta have to with kids or you will go insane. Wine helps too. lol

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  8. Love this… I have 2 kids of my own and I say patience is virtuous with them… But what can you do, they learn from everything and absorb all.. so I take it slow and day by day…

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  9. So true!

    My son demonstrated your scientific theory today. We went outside after lunch and he went straight for the mud and puddles. My patience was pretty good today. 😉

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  10. This made me laugh, because it is so true. Whatever you say “never” to will end up happening, and which ever phrase you do not want repeated at a quiet level in the middle of a room will end up shouted in the middle of a grocery store.

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    • Yes, yes it will Jessi….and all those things you swore they couldn’t have heard you talk about or words they couldn’t have heard you say, evidently little ears can hear from miles away!

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  11. Very cute Alison – great blog post – have fun with your kids – it’s so true what they say – that it goes by so fast I’m sure you are realizing that. Enjoy this time. Blessings to you – Tina

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    • It absolutely does go by fast Tina which is why I try to laugh at all the craziness as often as possible (its either laugh or cry sometimes!) Thanks for stopping by!

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  12. My crazy kids like to test my ability to make it through irony. I am trying to stop tempting the fates when I speak. Seems like those lunatics know what I might have said and do everything in their power to make it into an ironic situation. LOL!

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  15. I love this! I always thought I was a patient person, then munchkin came along. She tests my patience every day! I’m not ashamed to admit I do sometimes lose it, but I’m getting better. She gives me plenty of practice.

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    • I think every parent “loses it” from time to time! We wouldn’t be normal if we did it, the important this is that we love those little minions just as much as we did before they pushed us to our limit and if we can look back and find humor in it later. If we can do that, I’d say we’re winners at the end of the day 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!

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  17. The craziest thing my 11 year old did when she was 4 was to move over in the car when it was parked and get it in gear and drive backwards down the driveway and into the neighbors mailbox when I got out of the car for a second. I don’t know how she got out of her seat, but we will never forget it.

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    • Omg! That’s one of those terrifying at the moment but somewhat comical years later since nobody got hurt. You’ve definitely got me beat! (So far anyway lol)

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  19. I used to think that I was a very patient person. Maybe that was true, but now I realize that I have little patience. If I had kids, I would be in a world of hurt, lol.

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  21. The biggest lesson that I learned from my son (who is only 6, by the way) is to just smile and the world will be okay. God put that little boy on this Earth to spread his joy and I love his big heart.

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  22. I can so relate. It’s amazing what we thought we knew before children to only realize how much more we had to learn. One of the things I learned with my tote chatter nd was silence is not always a good thing. When he was 18 months old he got into the bottle of diaper rash cream and painted himself and his room with it.

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    • My daughter did something similar several months ago…fortunately it was only herself she painted, and not the rest of her room, but man that stuff is hard to wash off when it’s caked on…especially in her hair!! Now it’s hilarious, but at the time, I’m fairly certain I wasn’t laughing 🙂

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  23. Yep! I have been warned. I don’t have children, but living through the 9 months, labor pains, 24 hours in the hospital and the delivery room for the C-Section, all for my sister, I know I’m better as an auntie. My niece is 3 years old now, going on 4 this year and she is a smart cookie. She absorbs everything like a sponge. My sister is SO fascinated by how much she picks up. Sometimes I even have to remind my sister to watch what she says. Now that my sister moved back closer to family, I only hear snippets of the things my niece does, like: making her own bowl of cereal in the morning, wanting to use the microwave on a stool, or putting my sister to bed for the night while she watches cartoons on the couch and falls to sleep. Wow! Kids are definitely much more alert and involved in the lives of their parents these days. Is it something that we’re feeding them, technology, or a gene that is becoming more involved during conception. I can’t wait to see what she will become. I know it will be something great.

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  24. Glitter and guns! Me too…I love it! Although I am not a Mom (yet,) I have found myself discovering some of the same truths, albeit on the fertility and journey. Patience, priorities, choices, materialism, and most painfully irony, are all things I have had to explore along the way. It is incredible how either having a child in your life, or patiently hoping for one can change your perspective entirely. What seems clear no matter what the circumstance is that the only thing that really matters is loving your life and appreciating it for what it is! Rock on!

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  25. Haha! Great read… I definitely agree with the last one too. When my daughter was about 3ish she went through the troublesome 3’s… lol My brother at the time said “I will never have a child that acts like that”… Fast forward a few years and his now 3 year old acts 10x worse. I try not to giggle about it but it does make me have a few inside laughs. He told me this past Christmas when we were home visiting that he would never say such things again. 😉

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  27. This is GREAT! Goes right along with what I was saying about the “I would NEVER’s” we used to tell ourselves. Parenting is a club that we get to be in and if you aren’t in it, you just have no idea what is in store for you!

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  28. Hilarious parenting post, I got giggle. I often have to stop myself and think “I sound just like my Mom”. Only I’m usually screaming and she managed to avoid doing that!

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  29. Alison, I totally agree- having kids means you make decisions you’d never have considered before and it stretches you in many new ways (physically for a few months and then emotionally for ages). I struggle with patience quite a bit. I have a two year-old and a baby and just maintaining the house and keeping them entertained zaps most of my energy by 5pm. Thankfully, we put the kids to bed early and there is quiet time, but goodness, kids really do teach us parents a lot, don’t they?

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  30. I am not a parent yet, but WOW I think I will have a lot to learn! That is why kids are durable though right, so that I can mess it up along the way?! I like your honesty, and I think acknowledging that the picture in reality is always going to be different from what I had in my head is always the first step to me dealing with situations!

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  31. This is a great read for anyone who is thinking about becoming a parent, and a great reminder to those of us who are parents. Everything changes, that’s for sure, and life continuously throws new challenges at you that you need to face head on.

    My craziest moments with my children? Hmmm.. It’s sad that I can’t think of just one, but instead a million of them pop into my mind… Every day there’s a new crazy moment!

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  32. The craziest thing that my toddler has done was to walk 1/4 mile through the woods by himself to Grandma’s house. Before he went outside he told me not to be mad, not knowing what he was planning I agreed. So when Grandma called I couldn’t be mad, we just had a long talk about why walking to Grandma’s on our own was not allowed.

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    • Oh my gosh!!! I would have been terrified (which usually comes out as mad)…I guess at least he warned you! That is crazy! Thank you for stopping by & sharing!

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  33. My youngest is the master at trying my patience. I swear he read the manual on how to push my buttons. Then the little stinker comes along and bats his brown eyes, and cuddles his Mom, and I turn to mush. He will be 13 in two weeks, and he is still at the top of his craft!

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  34. This was great! I’ve learned to have more patience, and yet days I feel like I have none. Kids REALLY push buttons lol! Oh, it’s 7am, my eyes are still crusty, and you’re screaming at the top of your lungs that you want pretzels for breakfast despite how many times I say no? TAKE THE PRETZELS CHILD! Now where’s my coffee! Sometimes ya gotta just let it go….

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  35. So cute. I’m totally not cut out to be a mom, but somehow I manage to amaze others with my parenting….??? I’m too honest with my kids. I tell them when I don’t know what to do. I tell them, look – I had two kids. Sorry, deal with it. If you don’t like each other, that is your loss. I can’t take it back, now. LOL!

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  36. Sorry no kids… the only thing I ever learn from children is that their parents do not each them it is not okay to walk up to a service dog and pet it!! And then when I tell the children not to pet my dog (she is a service animal) I get the stink eye from the parents!! Take responsibility for your childrens actions 🙂 … sorry I will get off my soap box

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  38. My patience has remained about the same, but my husband keeps us all on track. The one event hat really tested my patience is when my sons deciding to dig a really big, I mean really big hole right next to my neighbors yard. I though they were just playing, not on a mission!

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  40. Truth! 🙂 I love the public speaking one! I have a 3 year old and a 7 year old… and neither understand what an inside voice is… or that no one wants to hear that they have too many boogers in their nose or that they forgot to change their underwear this morning! This was a great post! Glad I found your blog 😉

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    • Lol – I wish I could tell you it gets better as they get older, but my son is 12 and the info. they share is just different…I wouldn’t say it’s better though!

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  43. Unfortunately I can’t shame in wisdom just take in board what you have said which is funny and entertaining but am sure it’s testing at best for you

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