I swear I have three children sometimes. Not just the two that I gave birth too, but the one I married as well. A lot of women feel like this right? (Please tell me I’m not alone here.) I will preface this rant (because that’s exactly what it is, a bitch session) by saying that I love my husband dearly; he’s a great dad, provider, companion, and any divorce threats that may be made in a moment of anger or frustration are totally not serious. Like I said, I love him dearly, I just don’t like him very much right this very second, and here’s why.
He is my “other” child! I kid you not, I find myself having the same disagreements and being frustrated for reason that are very similar to those that cause me to want to run away to another country with my 11 year old. They have many very similar qualities. They’re both messy, unable to hear you speak when the television is on, and they team up to justify buying the same expensive toys. Unfortunately, on the flip side of that, my husband disciplines our son for the same exact infractions that I just witnessed the man child commit two seconds prior. I totally agree that the discipline was warranted for the 11 year old, but now hubby can’t figure out what I’m irritated with him! Really? Ummm, excuse me, but you just did the same exact crappy thing the kid did. Get it?
Anyone else have this issue? At what age do they fully grow up or has anyone’ significant other of the male species reached that point yet? Do I continue to have this argument or do I just consider this a losing battle and move on? I’m a firm believer of teach by example while he’s a do as I say not as I do type of guy – what exactly is the middle ground on that one? Does it really even matter when tomorrow they’ll both be playing video games, tuning me out again, and wondering why I’m such a bitch because I got pissy when neither one of them acknowledged my existence after I asked them take out the trash for the fiftieth time? Probably not….
JamericanSpice saysJanuary 19, 2014 at 2:11 pm
Like they say, men are just boys who changed bottles.
You must remind him that a child does not take injustice lightly. A kid could care less about what you say. They will always however, practice what you do.
Maybe have a one on one with him or ask another male to help with the talk. Men tend to hear better when it comes from another male.
Little things like this are very important because it’s parenting and it can result in built up resentments.
Oh and trust me, you are not alone.
Rhonda @ The Messy Roost saysJanuary 19, 2014 at 5:02 pm
I know exactly what you are talking about. I have four kids and one 50 year old son. Two of my children are a lot like him and he butts heads with them all the time. I really try to gently remind him to talk to them the way he would like to be talked to. Sometimes, he talks to them and they just shut down and wont listen. When he tries again, it is usually in a way they all understand. It is very frustrating — he gets so upset with me, if I yell at him. Oh, and my kids are 21 and 16 – yikes. Rhonda
Rosey saysJanuary 20, 2014 at 6:33 am
My husband will be 50 this year, he still throws his dirty clothes on the floor, next to the laundry basket (not in it), leaves his plates on the table, and will starve to death before he’ll cook anything for him or anyone else in the house. I could go on, but you get the idea. The kids behave better than he does a good portion of the time. 😉
And I love him. Regardless. 🙂 But his habits drive me nuts, and I’m quite sure at this point, he’s not going to change them. I learned long ago to change my outlook, and not try to change him. 🙂 It works (most of the time). 🙂 Thank you for linking to Super Sunday Sync!
Lauren saysJanuary 21, 2014 at 1:24 am
Lauren from your SITS tribe here!
OMG, this post, its like reading into my own life. I only have one kid but my husband is more of a child than he is sometimes. It drives me absolutely MENTAL!