Being in a relationship is all about compromise. There will be times when the two of you can’t agree on a particular course of action and you have to argue it out. Maybe your partner wants to watch a comedy while you want to watch a horror movie. Or maybe you want to visit your parents this weekend but your partner would prefer to see his friends.
Usually these disputes can be resolved after a little reasonable discussion and with no lasting impact to your relationship. The solution is normally a compromise to keep everyone happy. For example, you might settle the TV debate by watching what you want to watch tonight and letting your partner choose the film tomorrow. Or you will decide the weekend plans by fitting both your parents and your partners friends into the same day.
But some arguments are much more significant and can’t be resolved with a short conversation or a quick compromise. Moving home is just such a topic. If you want to move home but your partner doesn’t, either course of action will leave the other person feeling unhappy. But this doesn’t mean you have to end your relationship. By talking through the issue in detail, you can both come to an agreement that leaves everyone a lot happier and fulfilled. Here are some tips for finding the solution.
Talk through your life plans
It may be that you’ve never sat down and had the conversation about what you both want from your lives. Where do you see yourself in five years time, a decade, or beyond? Do you want to get married or start a family? Are you already in your dream job or is it still out there somewhere? The answers to these questions are crucial for your decision-making process. Moving home might require you both to change jobs and move away from family, both of which are huge things to ask of your partner. If moving home can accommodate both of your life plans then it could work, but if not, then it’s unreasonable of you to ask your partner to give up their life for yours.
Show them the benefits
What are the key reasons you want to move? Perhaps you want to be closer to career opportunities, get away from the city, or live in a more attractive and exciting part of the country. Talk your partner through your thought process and maybe they will come around to the idea. Look through real estate websites to get an idea of the properties you could be living in, and take a trip to your preferred location so they can see what life would be like after the move.
Agree on a timeframe
Maybe your partner isn’t ready to move but you are itching to get out right away. A good compromise could be to wait a few years. This way, you still get to move while your partner has a bit more time to make the necessary adjustments to their life.
It may well be that no amount of convincing will make your partner want to move, in which case you must respect their wishes. If so, you will need to have a long and frank talk about what this means for your relationship.